


The Vows

by mrshopkirk



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Boys In Love, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Declarations Of Love, Dorks in Love, Falling In Love, First Love, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Forbidden Love, Gay Bucky Barnes, Gay Steve Rogers, Happy Ending, Love, Love Confessions, Love at First Sight, M/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Romantic Fluff, True Love, Wedding Fluff, bucky loves steve, nervous Bucky, wedding vows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-23 22:29:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10728576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrshopkirk/pseuds/mrshopkirk
Summary: The plain and simple vows of a lover because love doesn't need to be complicated all the time.





	The Vows

**Author's Note:**

> The letter accompanying the vows is in italics.

_My dearest love,_

_I know you aren’t expecting a letter from me moments before we say I do but there are some things I need to tell you and I can’t do it in front of everyone. So please, read this letter before you go out there._

_When you told me you wanted us to write our own vows, I was excited. I have written so much these past few years and I love you so much, so how hard could it be, right? Turns out it is more difficult than I imagined. Not because I don’t know what I want to say to you but because in the back of my mind I’m still afraid of what people might think. They don’t have our history. When it comes to you and me, I’m always afraid they will try to break us up, keep us apart, that the world is playing yet another cruel joke on us by letting us think it’s okay now to love each other. I guess it’s embedded too deeply in me._

_For these vows I took a trip down memory lane, which in my case is a pretty short lane. But I like to think I remember the important stuff like our first kiss behind that cherry tree in the park. You set my world on fire there and then. I never thought it could get any better until you kissed me again and again. And you never stopped, neither did the fire._

_I remember the first time our bodies touched. To me our love couldn’t have been more beautiful and I hated that we had to hide it for the world. Everything was tainted by the fear of getting caught, the fear of what they could do to us because, let’s be honest, times were cruel and violent for a love like ours._

_I remember feeling helpless when I was drafted. I was so scared of dying. I didn’t really care who won the war as long as I could get home to you._

_I remember that damn train and knowing that was the end. I was mad I didn’t get to die in your arms. Your love gave me wings but they failed me when I fell._

_I remember seeing you and not remembering you. I remember the unsettling feeling of being drawn to something, leaving me terrified of the pain that would come after a failed mission. I tried to fight it but there is no fighting you, sweetheart. We fit. Ain’t nothing anyone can do about that._

_Now where do I begin? I don’t know even know if there ever was a beginning. You have always been there. Even when you weren’t, you still were. Does that make sense?_

_You're in every good memory I have. You're everything I want to remember but you also remember me of everything I want to forget. Don’t get me wrong, darling. I rather remember everything if it means you'll be by my side. I'll gladly take every nightmare if it means your eyes are the first thing I see when I wake up, your warm hands on my face, your soothing words in my ears. You know I tried to forget my past. I tried so damn hard but I realize now that I can’t. I can’t forget a single second because you’re in each and every one of them. And you, sweetheart, are unforgettable._

_Whenever I lose my way, which I’m sure and afraid of will happen somewhere in the future, I promise you I will find a way back to you. I belong with you. I belong to you. I am nothing without you. Incomplete._

_I guess now is a good a time to confess something to you. When you were about sixteen and I was seventeen, we were sleeping on those stupid couch cushions we put on the floor. My ma had given me my grandpa’s wedding ring a few weeks before and I slipped it on your finger for a few moments. You didn’t notice, your fingers were so thin and my grandpa’s hands were like coal shovels. To me, we’ve been married since that day. You were, are and always will be my man._

_So here are my vows. As you read them I’m trying to gather all the courage in me to speak them out loud later on. But in case I fail I don’t want you to think I’m having second thoughts about this marriage because it’s all I ever wanted in life, to be able to marry you._

_See you at the altar, sweetheart._

** My vows **

With this ring today, I don’t give you my heart. I gave that to you a long time ago. It’s safe with you. You kept it safe in your frail hands. You keep it safe in those big hands now. I don’t know if there is anything you don’t already have. Maybe the bragging rights that you sealed the deal, officially took me off the market and get to prance around holding my hand.

I’m glad we’re not alone today, that we get to share this with friends that love and accept us and our past, which is undeniably controversial. But I also think about the ones we lost, that aren’t here but who got us here. Your ma, the clever woman who knew what was right in front of her and didn’t mind. My little sister Rebecca, who sacrificed the joys of dancing with guys she fancied because she willingly pretended to be your gal to keep us safe. They were both romantics at heart.

I made a lot of promises in my lifetime. Some were idle. Some I meant. I meant it when I promised you I'd marry you if the times ever changed. It only took us about a century and a couple of wars but here we are, finally.

I thought long and hard about what promises I want to make to you today. I'm not making grand gestures. It's not meant for you and me. We're simple creatures. We've had our fair share of complicated. And I don't know what I can offer that you can't find with someone else but here are some things I do want to promise.

I promise to love you. I have loved you for as long as I can remember, even when I couldn't remember. And I will tell you every day.

I promise to worship you. Brace yourself sweetheart, because I'll worship the hell out of your body as soon as this is all over.

I promise not to laugh at the string of profanities that sometimes come out of your mouth when you think I’m not listening.

I promise to kiss you every day when I wake up and when I go to sleep.

I promise to teach you to dance again. We still need to finish those lessons. They either ended with my feet being bruised or our legs entangled, though the latter was usually when we ended up in bed.

I promise to hold your hand in public. I know you want me to but I'm afraid, sweetheart. Afraid of tainting your public persona, the thing you worked so hard to achieve. You always tell me you want to show me off because you couldn't before. Even in the darkest days, that always brings a smile to my face, how worked up you could get because we couldn't hold hands in public. You wanted to so bad. It broke my heart.

I promise not to complain so much when you wake me up for those morning runs you deem necessary. They’re not morning runs by the way, sweetheart. Mornings don’t start at 4 a.m. And just so you know, you don’t run faster than me. I run behind you because I like the view. Keeps me motivated.

I promise to talk to you when things get rough. But please be patient. It’s hard to tell the person you love more than life itself the things you are most ashamed of. Sometimes I just need your arms to feel safe. And I’m putting it in writing here and know that I’ll talk to Sam if I can’t talk to you.

I promise not to step in all the time when you’re in a fight. You are right. You can handle yourself and we’re not in a back alley anymore. It’s just difficult to fight the urge to protect you. But know this, you’re on your own against Nat. I’m done with those headlocks and she pulls my hair.

I promise to stop smothering you with the covers and sleep under them myself. It’s just an old habit that’s hard to shake. You were always cold, always sick and when I’m half asleep I forget you’re all better now.

I promise to take long warm showers instead of short cold ones.

I promise to try and let you help me with my arm. But please understand that it’s hard for me. It was never meant for a gentle touch. If there’s anything I wish for, it’s that you’d never touch it but I know it’s important to you. I’ll try. For you.

I promise to leave a light on in the bedroom so you can see me when we make love. I don’t mind you seeing me. It’s that I don’t want to see myself.

I promise I’ll pose for you when you draw. Reluctantly but I’ll do it. With clothes on.

I promise I’ll write letters again. I know you loved it when I wrote you letters. My handwriting is scratchy now but the words will still be as suave as ever.

I promise to pretend I’m interested in the latest new cooking show on TV as long as you do the cooking.

I promise to protect you from spiders for as long as we shall live.

I promise not to break your heart. If I ever do then don’t forgive me. If I break it, I don’t deserve you. Please, remember that.

I promise to be grateful for every moment spent together, every word that is spoken, every touch that is given. I am grateful for you and that after all this time you'll still have me.

You are my path to heaven. You are my light in dark days. You are the reason my heart beats. You are the reason why I want to go on even when I want to give up. You are the reason I don’t give up on myself. You are the reason for everything. You are my everything. You are my love. You are you. You are my Steve.

Today you make me the proudest man on earth because I’ll be able to call you my husband till the day I die. It’s officially till the end of the line now, punk. I love you.


End file.
